RJ is my very best buddy. Did you know that?
I sure do love him!
5 years ago today, we exchanged vows and rings, and became husband and wife.
It’s been quite an amazing adventure for us. And for me, marriage has been quite a healing experience as well.
I write a lot about healing and freedom. It’s kind of my thing.
Wait…I don’t have a thing…
In the past 5 years, God has used RJ to bring so much healing to my life.
There is just something about someone knowing you completely, but choosing to love you and accept you and your past wholeheartedly that is freeing.
There is something about someone who REAAALLY knows you completely, the unedited, uncut, unfiltered wretchedness and dirtiness of your sin laid bare, but STILL choosing to love you and accept you and your past wholeheartedly that is freeing.
There is something about being married where the sin you didn’t even realize you struggled with wakes from dormancy, and you realize that you’re more sinful than you ever imagined…but then you appreciate all the more how loved and accepted you are, by your spouse and by God.
There is something about someone seeing and believing in the best in you that just naturally brings that best out.
There is something about a husband who sacrifices his needs for the sake of building up his wife to live out who God created her to be that is so liberating.
There is something about someone who says, “It’s okay for you to cry, I hurt you,” and validates your feelings for the first time in your life, instead of defending, shaming, or blaming you as being “too emotional” or “too sensitive” like you’ve heard all your life.
There’s something about someone never asking you to change any physical aspect of yourself, but joyfully declaring you are the prettiest pup of all the pups, and even more when you aren’t wearing makeup than when you are. It demolishes any pre-existing body-image related insecurity. Well…almost.
There’s something about someone who doesn’t try to change who you are, but in fact CELEBRATES you for all your spazzy, weirdo, unfiltered stream of consciousness goodness, that enables you to rest more securely in who God created you to be and say, “Screw you, I’m awesome!” to all the haters.
There’s something about someone who, even if you’ve been fighting all night and are still angry with one another, will never fail to kiss your forehead goodnight.
There’s something about someone who always pursues and always apologizes first…even if you started the fight or were “extra moody” that day. :P
There’s something about someone who you have more and more fun with each passing day that demolishes your preconceived notion that marriage sucks and gets boring with each passing year.
There’s something about someone who hates going shopping, but will go and keep himself entertained and jolly by dancing with you in the aisles to Kelly Clarkson, pretending the grocery cart is a race car, and performing “evasive maneuvers” (AKA throwing rolls of paper towels into the aisle) just so you don’t feel bad for dragging them along.
There’s something about someone who lets you have your tantrum with God without trying to fix you, because they have faith that in the end, you and God will be buddies again.
There’s something about someone who never plays the “authority and submission” card in marriage, just because “he’s the man.”
There’s something about someone who knows your fears about having children and respects where you are at, never forcing, manipulating, or guilting you into having children, even though they would love for the family to grow.
There’s something about a man who is willing to take on household responsibilities typically viewed as a “women’s job” joyfully, without complaining, and without needing to be prompted (sometimes, haha) that lets you know that he values a woman’s contribution to work and also that he’s not going to leave you hanging when the kids come, which is REALLY freeing for me.
There’s something about two rough-around-the-edges individuals thrown into the washing machine of life, smashing into one another, rubbing against one another, causing friction against one another that soften the edges and refines the both of you more into the image of Christ.
There’s something about someone who doesn’t try to be God to you, but points you to God because they can acknowledge that they alone are insufficient for your every need.
There’s something about someone who sacrificially loves you like Jesus loved the church that makes you believe and stand all the more in awe of God’s infinitely greater sacrificial love for you.
RJ, you’re my very best buddy in the world.
Thanks for walking Daisy every morning, waking up early to make me coffee and breakfast (even though you don’t drink coffee!), cleaning the house, making my lunch, and making dinner so that I could go back to school and develop my giftings so that I can better serve God.
Thanks for loving me and accepting me, despite the deepest depths of my sin, many of which are against you, despite my moodiness, despite my spazziness.
And thanks for letting God use you in mighty ways in the past five years, as a tangible example of His love and as an agent of deep healing in my life.
Happy 5 years, sweetums! :) I love walking through life with you, and can’t wait to grow our little family and be your old lady!