Whatever you do, do NOT tell your spouse or your friends to just get over it.
I meant to communicate “Get over it” as a form of self-talk and self-motivation for when our thoughts are running away from us and we find ourselves living not in the present. I mean yeah, you can definitely think it for someone else, but unless they themselves are ready to hear it, it just isn’t helpful to say outright. There are gentler ways of communicating this to someone else or helping someone get to this point.
Unless it’s been like five years and they’re still not over it. Then yeah…tell them to get over it. But speak the truth with love. :)
Young RJ has probably told young Alice to get over it, and that probably ended up awesome (NOT). However, over the years, RJ has gotten smarter with his Socratic questioning, so he gently helps me to eventually get to the place where I realize that there’s no point in thinking about what could’ve or should’ve been. He also points out all of the blessings that I can be thankful for.
Essentially, RJ is a non-judgmental, empathetic, validating sounding board to help me think out loud and organize my thoughts, since I’m an external processor. And he communicates that he is with me and for me the whole way through, getting me to the place of “getting over it” without ever saying it so harshly.
“Get over it.” Meant for self-talk.
Use it sparingly and with great discretion in speaking truth to others.