Last week, my world started spinning.
No, literally…it started spinning because of an inner ear infection.
It started out as a light-headedness once in a while if I moved my head too quickly, but rapidly devolved into a Lucille 2 from Arrested Development type of vertigo. RJ described me as looking like 2 year old Silas trying to walk: low to the ground, knees bent, holding my arms out for balance, and kind of wobbly.
I know it sounds kind of funny, but in reality, I was in tears everytime I had to move my head. Even closing my eyes, the room felt like it was spinning. Call me a drama queen, but I would have rather died than deal with the vertigo and accompanying nausea. I quickly raced to the worst case scenario: I’d have vertigo forever, I’d never get well, I’d have to drop out of graduate school, I’d never have a job, I’d never have kids, I’d be miserable forever. I know, I know…drama queen.
It amazes me how such a small part of my body could completely debilitate me and have me on my back for 5 days. For some reason, it reminded me of the passage in James about taming the tongue, how the tongue is the smallest part of the body but unleashed can do a world of evil. My frickin inner ear, unleashed, did me a whole woooorld of evil. And it made me think, I gotta watch my tongue, because if it has the capacity to do more evil than this inner ear thing, I gotta rein it in!
Today is the first day that I am starting to feel WELL, praise Jesus! But it’s always situations like these that remind me of the ugliness of my heart and of my faith in God. I was so quick to despair, to lose hope.
It also reminds me of the fragility of my life and my body, that all could change in a moment’s notice. Since I’m a skinny girl (and gripe as I may, I know it) I tend to think that I can put off working out and eating right until my metabolism slows down. But, maaaaybe if my immune system and body were stronger in the first place, I wouldn’t have gotten sick at all. I need to care for my body NOW, not just when something goes wrong!
All I can say is this: I am so thankful for health. So so thankful for health. Don’t take it for granted, folks.