[Disclaimer: There is strong language in this post. If this offends you, then I suggest you not read it.]
These past few days have been…well, for lack of a better word, a huge shitstorm of shit upon shit raining down.
Normally, I have no problem rolling with the punches. A punch here, a punch there. Okay, no problem. Shake it off, and get back in the game.
But when every damn thing is raining down on you all at once, sometimes you just find yourself knocked out on the ground, with no strength to pick yourself back up, and quite honestly, not wanting to get back up at all. (I believe that’s called depression.)
From feeling disappointed, discouraged, disregarded, and shut out, to marriage with two sinners just being plain hard at times, to April 1st beginning with an almost week late period, a negative pregnancy test, and a surefire sign of NOT pregnancy (my body’s way of saying, “April Fool’s! Screw you and your efforts at getting pregnant, your body sucks.”), to scabs being ripped off of old wounds that you thought had healed, to the sins of others against you, to my own sin, to the shame and overwhelming condemnation of my own sin…
Shitstorm. Huge shitstorm.
And I’m tired. I’m exhausted. I’m knocked out on the ground. And you know what? I don’t want to get up. I just don’t have it in me.
Which is why I knew that I had to get up and get myself to Good Friday service yesterday evening – to be reminded of that rugged cross that changed it all.
This is the crazy thing, the good thing, about Good Friday, you guys. Jesus not only lived a perfect and holy life, but He freakin’ took on the weight of all of the sins and all of the hurt and all of the disappointment of the entire world, and He put them to death on that cross.
My whole shitstorm and everyone else’s who ever existed? All nailed to that cross, put to death, never to have power or dominion over us anymore.
Praise Jesus, hallelujah.
Through the cross, we are freed, redeemed, forgiven, released from the power of and the penalty for our sin and brokenness.
Through the cross, we can release others in forgiveness for hurts done to us, because of the example of the radical and undeserved love and mercy of God, and because Jesus’ blood is enough to cover not only our sins, but the sins of our offenders as well, no matter how great the offense.
Through the cross and the resurrection of Christ, we have hope against all hope, that even when we are disappointed, devastated, wronged, and life doesn’t go as we plan, that He is good, that He is sovereign, that He sees our hurt and hurts with us, and that we are His no matter what. The cross is the ultimate example of this.
By His wounds, we are healed. So abundantly and freely healed – who we are, our relationships, our marriages, our brokenness, our lives.
All of this…the beauty of that rugged cross…somehow, it’s made all the more sweet and all the more vast and amazing when you’re walking through the darkness of your sin, your hurt, your disappointment, and your brokenness.
Thank you, Jesus, for the cross.